He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize