My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
