it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
