Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
