She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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