you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
