There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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