Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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