I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
