apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize