yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
