omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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