I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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