We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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