Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
