Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
