Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
someone owes me an orgasm
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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