I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
