you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
