I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize