you have to choose: penises or morals?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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