when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
