My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Text me some of your sweat
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize