How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let's get the cat blown out
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
