guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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