This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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