I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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