i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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