thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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