Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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