You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
