i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
