So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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