Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
