My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No more Irish car bombs ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
