As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
