No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
