her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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