He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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