we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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