i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
