I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
