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Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
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