New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home