if you like me you must not know who I am
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
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Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
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Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.