so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.