Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.