Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
