no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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