did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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