Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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