You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
