i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize