Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize