I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
