somebody snuck up and got me drunk
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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