dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
