Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize