Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
