So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
now i know why i became what i already was.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
