So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
