elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
