she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
foreskin is a definite game changer
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
