Who did Billy Mays play for?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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