I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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