Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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