youre lurking in front of me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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