ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
