no, he came in my armpit
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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