i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
