she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i believe in u and ur pee
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