Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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