My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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