He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
